Inventors Wanted:

I'm looking for someone with the technical ability to develop a cell-phone jamming device. The primary function would be to jam and stop any cell phone signal within a 40-50 foot range. Secondary function would be to send an 900 decibel screech thru the phone into the person's ear. Preferably strong  enough to render the offending person permanently deaf in that ear. This is optional because I suspect that most people who talk regularly on their cell must already be deaf by the loudness of their voice. I'd guess that approximately 60% - 70% of these people don't actually need the phone because they talk so damn loud anyhow that whoever they are talking to can actually hear them without the phone.

If you are interested in this job please contact me immediately. If you can develop this device in the next 5 minutes I will pay double because there's some jackass across the train from me now who is just begging to to get a dose of the SlapBetter-5000 right now!!!